Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Party's Over

I was afraid my fibro "remission" was ending when I started feeling icky in the belly a couple days ago. I handled it as an IBS flare-up. No rhyme or reason. It just happens. I accept that.

Then yesterday I had trouble breathing and felt very fatigued, out of nowhere. I worked through it because I have a very urgent and important project to work on so I pushed on, stoically.  I doubt my boss appreciates my efforts. I make it look to easy sometimes, though I still suck at faking feeling fine.

Today, I'm starting to realize I'm having more, not fewer symptoms, and I have to admit... (sigh)... this is a fibro flare.

My belly hurt all night, along with some nerve pains firing frequently in my right forearm for more than a day. During the night I also noticed my right knee hurting for no apparent reason. (My left one is usually the bad one.)

Today, I was completely wiped out and still dealing with vague abdominal pain with a weird lack of appetite at work. Toward the end of the day, I just wanted to go home and lie down.

When I got home, though, my bed was not available due to workers finally installing something in our master bath. I did not want to distract them, since the project has been going maddeningly slowly for the past few weeks now. I went to the computer room to try to relax. 

Well, I didn't do it right. My back is bitching. Went out for a bite then finally, FINALLY, I'm here in my bed. I'm feeling these odd shivers of pain coming over me, trying to get my attention after I've worked so hard to ignore the signs.

Yes, body. I acknowledge that I am ill. I have a note on my desk to remind me to take beaks or you will force me to, by shutting down. I failed. Fuck me. It's time to pay the piper. Crap.