Monday, August 31, 2009

The Fog (Short Story)

I was inspired to create something, so I wrote this short story.  I hope you enjoy it.   The Fog

Nauseating Pain

I'm not really in the mood to deal with life's challenges today. My flare is continuing and today, my pain is nauseating me. On top of that, I've been having dizzy spells. This is all very distracting and I feel pretty foggy. It's difficult to concentrate on getting any work done... which is why I'm posting this blog right now.

Days like this make me wonder how I can go on. I can't possibly do a good job at work when I have such health problems, can I? I guess I need to take my own advice and do
"just one thing" by getting through this day and not worrying about the rest of my life all at once.

I've taken a Tramadol and I've got "Bunny" warming my back up. I also have a massage scheduled for this evening, so I can also look forward to that. I know I'll feel a little bit better, at least for an hour.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

That's a WRAP

I have finally typed up and updated my own, personal, Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP)!

The idea of the WRAP is from chapter 16 of the book: Fibromyalgia and Chronic Myofascial Pain: A Survival Manual (2nd Edition) by Devin Starlanyl & Mary Ellen Copeland

The WRAP is a customized group of lists for us fibromites. Since we frequently get fibrofogged and have a lot of various symptoms and treatments to keep track of, It helps to write things down. Having all of this information organized into useful groupings and keeping them together in a single document is also helpful for our caretakers, should they ever need to consult this kind of personalized fibromyalgia manual.

I made some changes from the book's instructions to the section names, because I wanted their relationships to each other to be more obvious and congruent. I also added some graphics to make it snazzier. However, I started this project by scribbling down thoughts in each category on blank paper in a big binder, then kept consulting and tweaking it as I thought of more. That's also why I added in a last updated date for myself. I anticipate that I will think of and add things to the document at a later date. Every time I print it, I'll have the "last updated" date tell me when I did.

You'll also notice that I don't have anything under the "Crisis" section yet. I am not sure what I might be like in an absolute fibro-crisis, or what plan of action I should take, as I have not yet had what I believe would be considered a crisis. However, as time goes on, I might be able to notice certain behaviors or needs when I really feel super-shitty. For now, I'm just happy that I didn't have any experience with that section just yet.

Special thanks go to Glenda Bibbero of for reminding me about this chapter in the above-mentioned book, which I glossed over the first time I read through the book, early in my new life with Fibromyalgia. She asked me about it and wrote one up herself, publishing it in her profile journal for other members to see. She inspired me to write up my own WRAP for myself and share it with my readers, too. I also mentioned the WRAP to My doctor, who encouraged me to share it with you all here, in my blog.

Fibrofriends, I found this exercise to be very valuable to me, both during and after composing all the sections. I suggest you jot down the headings and keep your notes handy wherever you can sit and write for a few minutes. In time, you'll have your own WRAP all wrapped up and ready for your next fibrofog moment.

To read my WRAP, click:
Zouras - WRAP

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Behind and Overwhelmed

I have been bad about keeping up with my blogging and journaling and overall fibro stuff lately. I was so gung-ho when I started all these projects and did fine during my time off work, but now that I'm working, I feel like there's no time left!

I went to see my fibro doctor a couple days ago. He made some changes to my dosage and added a new supplement to my regimen: magnesium w/ malic acid. I just ordered some from and will be taking it twice a day for pain. I hope it helps.

My sleep has been kind crappy lately. I've been waking up a lot, but not for hours (thank goodness) - just seconds. My dreams are stressful and painful, too. The other night, I dreamt I was grazed by several bullets and my wounds were becoming severely infected. I remember feeling intense pains in my face, hand, and other areas. I don't remember getting shot at or who or why it was done, just that I was hurting and needed medical attention or something! The damned dream went on an on, as usual, and there were many chapters and scenes. Why is my brain so busy at night?

Last night I woke up a few times with a terrible migraine. When it was time to wake up for work, I still had it, but it wasn't as awful as earlier (thank goodness). It's a sign that I'm flaring. Yesterday I felt hot and cold at the same time, and I had more pains everywhere. Today I have back pain, head pain, neck pain, limb pain and I really, really did not feel like going to work today. I set my alarm for another hour and tried to give it a good nap to see if it would help. It's better than nothing, but it wasn't much.

Anyway, I told my doctor about the WRAP - Wellness Recovery Action Plan - from Ch. 16 of the FMS/CMP Survival Manual book. He encouraged me to put it online for others to see. Right now I have it scribbled down on paper for myself. I consulted it today after recognizing signs of a flare that I need to address. It's helpful. I will type it up on my blog soon and share it with the world.

I'm also 20 pounds heavier now than earlier this year (February?). My skinny clothes don't fit me and my fat clothes aren't loose. :( I'm counting calories and trying to restrict myself to 1600 calories per day. I'm also trying to get my activity levels back up again, but it's a slow and frustrating process. You can't make up for lost time - like I tried to do yesterday. I probably made my symptoms worse today.

For now I'm just ick.