Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Feeling Lame

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, yet again, but despite my best efforts, my sleep has been ridiculously scant and superficial for the past month, even when I use the new ear plugs.  I still like them for tuning out the noise, but apparently noise is not the only trigger that wakes me. 

For instance, the other night, I slept and dreamt, but woke up suddenly in the middle - well, at the apparent sudden END, I guess - of each dream, for no apparent reason.  No noise, no gasping for air, no falling or startle dream, nothing.  One second, in a creative story of my mind, next minute wide, fucking awake.  This must have happened about a hundred times that night. 

Each night is different, too.  Last night, for instance, I don't remember dreaming, but I slept for a few hours before my brain decided I shouldn't sleep for the rest of the night.  I woke up around 3am and finally got up after 4am to address some of the things popping into my mind.  I'm tired as all hell at the moment.  In fact, I left work early today because I couldn't function.  It's unseasonably warm today (60 degrees F for January in Chicagoland is very unusual) and that may or may not have anything to do with the fact that today my asthma has been the worst it's been in months, that I can recall.  I have been coughing and trying to breathe for hours, then noticed I was feeling faint, probably from the lack of oxygen getting to my brain. 

On top of that my face flushed up and felt like it was burning up (this is still about a daily occurrence) AND my nose started bleeding, right there in the office (another daily occurrence).  It was too much and I was starting to sense microsleeps occurring due to my sleep deficit.  I carefully drove home and I'm about to try and nap some of this crap away.  Savella is already making my heart beat way too fast and hard (100+ beats per minute at rest is not normal) but the rescue inhaler also makes me shakey and screw it up even more. 

In addition to the above, my lower back is having spasms for the past few days, despite my increased muscle relaxants, stretching, and a great massage treatment just yesterday.  However, the pain from that pales next to the nerve pain jolts I've been getting in the back of my right thigh for the past several days.  It's maddeningly sudden and severe every time. It makes me jump and/or gasp involuntarily, and I'm pretty good and not bringing attention to my pains in front of others.  I've been calling this sciatica, but really I don't know what it is.  I've been told my piriformis muscle is likely impinging on it, so I stretch when it occurs, to try to prevent further jolts.  It's difficult to say whether anything helps this - as it's so intermittent.  I get a similar pain in my forearm as well, and that's been acting up lately, too.

I wanted to write this all down while I'm feeling it so I can give my future self an accurate description of what went on today.  This is about all I can handle at the moment.  Stay tuned for an update of how great I'm feeling later (hopefully).  I will have better days.  I will have better days.  I will have better days...