Today would be the day that I would officially start my Wagon 1.3: Endurance Training. However, I've had some setbacks and I don't feel that I've really made much headway on my previous goal of strength training. It seems that when I do even the wimpiest of the strength training exercises, I activate some latent trigger point and flare up in pain. In response, I need to lay off the exercises for a few days. On top of the pain, last week, I dealt with some unexpected and unexplained severe nausea that cost me two vacation days of work.
I am not going to give up, mind you, just because circumstances have not been ideal. I'd be a fool to expect that I could just suddenly overcome all my limitations because I decided to. I do tend to forget my limitations, because I know there are things I used to be able to do (like daily exercising, household chores, etc.) before Fibromyalgia came and beat me up. Now I'm unable to do things I used to do, and it takes significant effort to consciously remember that I can no longer do those things - at least not to the same extent that I used to, back when I was "normal".
Such is life with the FibroBeast. I'm on a very short leash and pulling at it is futile. I wish I could easily see the extent of my leash, but it's something that apparently seems to vary randomly. I haven't figured out all the factors that determine how far I can go before I hit the limitations each time. It almost seems the leash gets shorter each time I try, like Fibro is getting angry at me for my persistence.
Should I appease the beast and stop trying? Nahhh.
I think it's hard to cope with the change in expectations of Self that comes with becoming 'fibromyalgic'.
ReplyDeleteMy capacities had been shifting for some time before the diagnosis. The diagnosis confirmed it.
I would use HowToCopeWithPain.com for all its worth. It's helped me tremendously.
The key is how to value what you're able to do - all the littlest components of ability you have rather than focusing on what I can no longer and may never be able to do. Keep writing a blessings or gratitude list.
Find a good therapist - maybe someone who is both a counselor and an OT or PT. I had good experiences with a number of helping professionals. The one who used narrative therapy and had these qualifications was the best. Maybe it was the time I found her but I think it is her skill and wisdom with chronic illness.
I don't want to take up so much space here or I'd write more.
It's a lot to adjust to, really it is, especially if you don't know other people with it. Read lots of books.