Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Limitations: The Hard Reality of Fibromyalgia

Today would be the day that I would officially start my Wagon 1.3: Endurance Training.  However, I've had some setbacks and I don't feel that I've really made much headway on my previous goal of strength training.  It seems that when I do even the wimpiest of the strength training exercises, I activate some latent trigger point and flare up in pain.  In response, I need to lay off the exercises for a few days.  On top of the pain, last week, I dealt with some unexpected and unexplained severe nausea that cost me two vacation days of work.

I am not going to give up, mind you, just because circumstances have not been ideal.  I'd be a fool to expect that I could just suddenly overcome all my limitations because I decided to.  I do tend to forget my limitations, because I know there are things I used to be able to do (like daily exercising, household chores, etc.) before Fibromyalgia came and beat me up.  Now I'm unable to do things I used to do, and it takes significant effort to consciously remember that I can no longer do those things - at least not to the same extent that I used to, back when I was "normal".

Such is life with the FibroBeast.  I'm on a very short leash and pulling at it is futile.  I wish I could easily see the extent of my leash, but it's something that apparently seems to vary randomly.  I haven't figured out all the factors that determine how far I can go before I hit the limitations each time.  It almost seems the leash gets shorter each time I try, like Fibro is getting angry at me for my persistence.  

Should I appease the beast and stop trying?  Nahhh.