That indescribable feeling of being uncomfortable in my own skin and being unable to find comfort that I have been getting in the evenings happened again last night, so I went to bed at 8am, hoping to escape it with sleep.
I also managed to get a decent night's sleep, despite some magnificent racket outside. A huge thunderstorm rolled in last night and the thunder cracks sounded like the storm was right on top of us for a while. I listened to the pounding rain and the thunder for a bit, but still managed to get back to sleep. Hooray!
So, today, after several days of feeling dizzy and clammy and various other kinds of ick, I decided I had gotten used enough to the ick feelings to try to drive to work today. The brain zaps seem to be occurring less frequently lately, and I think going through the normal routine helps me to not feel so much. I managed to get through the drive with extra care and focus, and at the office, I caught up with my coworkers and did some light work. Luckily, it's the day after a release that went well, so things were very low key and low stress today. Thank goodness!
I did have some issues with temperature in the office. The air conditioning chilled my hands, yet I could feel the sweating on my torso continuing. I was uncomfortable and had my rain jacket on and off throughout the day to adjust. I also had some hot beverages to try to warm my hands up.
Concentrating was kind of difficult, as I remember doing roughly 20 things at once and not really doing them well or feeling like they were complete. I hate that feeling. I'm usually multi-tasking at work, but today I was more scattered, unable to finish things up and feel good about it. When the end of the day came, I had to give up trying to finishing anything and just get myself home. Now here I am.
There something else I wanted to note here about my symptoms. I have had feelings of not quite knowing who I am for a bit during all this. I don't mean like I had amnesia or anything like that. It's just kind of like I was on the outside, looking in, and felt not quite ME. Or perhaps I feel like I'm some sort of cartoon version of myself. Maybe cartoon isn't the right term, maybe it's like wearing someone else's persona, involuntarily. It was odd enough anyway. I can't quite describe it.
Something else that may or may not be related to any of this drug withdrawal stuff is that my right hand, my mousing hand, is very uncomfortable and somewhat tingly as of yesterday. Perhaps I've been computering too much without taking a break, but it's hard to get it to feel okay. I keep shaking it and trying to get the blood circulating properly within it, but it continues to feel strange. I hope this weekend will help it relax a bit and maybe get back to feeling normal again.
On that note, I'm going to go rest my hand and try to continue to pretend I'm normal and see if that helps me adjust a bit. I'm hoping tomorrow I will feel even better than I did today. My first full dose of the Savella will be Sunday morning. I'm not expecting to feel back to normal on Sunday (though that would be awesome), because it seems to take a little while for my body to adjust to anything. My hope is that by about Wednesday or so next week, I may feel like my "normal" (fibro-ey) self again.
Time to find some dinner...